


Come With Me to the Other Side

by Liliriu



Category: Patalliro!
Genre: Body Image, Dating, Depression, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:54:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25142725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliriu/pseuds/Liliriu
Summary: Argh, I feel totally cringe about this but I had to do it: Patalliro finds love. Like, actually, not sarcastically. Post canon. Perhaps OOC, perhaps not.Title taken from the song The Night by Voltaire.
Relationships: Patalliro du Malyner VIII/Original Male Character
Kudos: 1





	Come With Me to the Other Side

“I am tired of you all!” he had yelled at them after a night of heavy drinking, “I am tired of you retarded makeup, and your retarded glasses, and your retarded wigs, and your whole retarded act! You don’t amuse me anymore, just act like normal soldiers for God’s sake, or go fuck yourself as much as I care!”

He was nineteen by then. That had been the night which had marked the end of his childhood.

A year later, he still could not fully process what a huge mistake it had been; in his innocence, he had thought that it was annoying to be surrounded all day long by a private army of ridiculous cartoonish babysitters. He did not know, by then, the feeling of being surrounded all day long by a private army of elegant, graceful, drop-dead gorgeous men. It did not help that since he had started to actually do some of his work, they had much more free time left to just slack off and be happy and flirty (among themselves and with other people, just not with him), making him feel even more ugly and isolated than he already felt. But it was too late to go back, now.

Back in his childhood, and in his early teenage years, it had always been so easy to lie to himself, to convince himself that he did not care what everyone thought about him, that he did not care what he thought about himself, that he did not think what he thought about himself, and that he was happy. He had been so persistent in convincing himself that he was happy, that he had actually succeeded at believing it, and as a result he had actually been happy. Sadly, so sadly, he had lost this ability.

Now, he saw himself as he was; and what he was, was a freak. He would had been considered ugly even for the standards of the average country’s population; and especially so for those of the eternal spring island of Malyner, which contained an uncannily huge proportion of beauties among its people. At least now he was relatively tall, or, well… at least not as short as everyone assumed that he would be back when he was a child. The issue with his weight was similar; he was not really fat, not anymore, but neither was he exactly thin. He could had lost the spare weight, but… he liked to eat, and did not want to give it up; it was one of the few things which brought him happiness those days. His face was a problem, tough. It was a bad face, and no hairstyle or amount of makeup would help.

He had considered plastic surgery; he had thoroughly considered it, in fact, but had decided against it. It was a foolish decision, perhaps, irrational, or even egoistical; but at the end of the day, he still hoped to be loved as he was. It was a hypocritical desire, he was aware of that, since he himself was only capable of loving beauties; so how, in the hypothetical case that some beauty would reciprocate his love, would it be fair to let him or her be stuck with someone as hideous as himself, while being fully capable of affording surgery? Patalliro had no explanation, really, other than the fact that he simply felt like this, needing to be accepted; he knew that he would not be able to commit to a partner while living with the doubt whether he or she would still had loved him with the face he was born with.

All this reasoning, all this analyzing, and he still was stuck with himself: ugly, chubby, average heighten, unloved Patalliro of Malyner VIII.

***

He regretted more than ever to have switched the Tamanegi’s uniform to regular ones, since the incident with the new recruit. The incident with the new recruit, was that he existed (and that Patalliro had ever been unfortunate enough to lie his eyes upon him, also). He was very young, just out of high school, shy and introverted, not the typical soldier type. And of course, no high education, like the typical elite force type. Had been forced to enlist to the army due to some sorrowful family situation, and had been accepted due to his outstanding intelligence. Maybe another man his age would had found it quite fun to serve in the special force. After all, its main job was to protect the king, a task which used to be extremely difficult back when His Highness was a child, yet the reason for this had been that the main source of danger for his life (apart from the occasional assassin) was himself; so the job had become significantly easier since Patalliro had grown up enough to stop filling his days with so many potentially suicidal activities.

The elite soldiers’ life was now composed of prestige, partying, a fine wage, and of course a lot of sex; whether they fancied men or women, there was never a shortage of willing partners. But he was not built for this. He disliked parties and noise, and had no idea how to behave in the ambient of the palace. He did not dislike sex, nor had ever had any particularly unpleasant experience with it, but he usually saw it more as a mean to achieve other purposes, than as a thing to be enjoyed for itself. The right life for him, he believed, would had been the life of a scholar, and he used to daydream about some far away university in a snowy European town. He was a petite, beautiful boy. His name was Jade, given to him for his bewitching green eyes, shining on a fair skinned face, a face which looked even fairer against the sleek black hair; a face that reminded Patalliro of a certain someone.

As far as Patalliro remembered, Bancoran had been his first crush. Not his first love, since it had never caused him to suffer, and therefore it could not had been love. No, when Patalliro was a child, Bancoran had always been a cause of joy for him. They were still friends, technically, and Bancoran still served as Patalliro’s bodyguard in some of his trips. And then, there was Maraich. Maraich, who despite having been a victim of abuse, did not wish others to experience suffering like many people would want in his case, and would take active measures to prevent it for happening. He was even good and merciful enough to patiently repress his assassin’s instincts, as he listened to Malyner’s king’s depressed rant over the phone.

Yet it was understandable that “stop stalking the poor boy,” had been his response, after the weeping session was finally over.

“Why are you telling me that? Am I not your best friend anymore… Maraich…? Maraich are you all right?!”

“Yes, I am all right… Don’t remember I have ever agreed to the ‘best friends’ thing, though,” said Maraich after he finished chocking, his voice still a little week.

“You have always had a poor memory.”

“No I did not, really…”

“Would you remember that?”

Maraich took a moment to consider this.

Patalliro broke the silence, “do you even have other friends than me, anyway?”

Maraich sighed. Making friends was not always easy for neurotic former assassins. “So, what did you want me to tell you?”

“How do I make Jade fall in love with me?”

“Hahahaha… I mean show him some kindness or something?”

“Kindness? You are a genius Maraich thank you bye!”

Maraich kept holding the telephone tube for a moment, wondering what had just happened.

***

“Your Highness,” tamanegi no. 32, AKA Jade bowed.

“Have a sit.”

Jade obeyed. He hoped that he was not in trouble, yet had no idea what could he be in trouble for; he was actually quite an excellent soldier, as he was not constantly busy with parties like most of his comrades.

“Don’t worry, you are not in trouble. I only called you here to ask how are you feeling. I care about my men’s well-being, so I make it a habit to summon new recruits like this.”

Jade sensed bullshit; he had never heard about such a custom. But he had still no idea what the actual reason could be. “Everything is all right, Your Highness,” he lied automatically.

“Have some candy,” the king pointed at a bowl full of colorful sweets.

That was weird, it felt as if the king was trying to get Jade to open up like you would do with a child. But the candies looked good, so Jade had one. It was delicious, actually. He wondered if His Highness had them often. He probably did, judging by the plump cheeks. Jade felt a sudden urge to pinch them, and smiled a little smile despite himself. The king was only a couple of years older than Jade himself, and he was cute, seen up close, in a soft, spoiled kid kind of way; he seemed as if his life had consisted mostly of playing games and devouring sweets, so unlike Jade’s life. He was not jealous, not exactly, but he did wish he could acquire some softness for himself.

Unfortunately, Patalliro had not planned that far. “Is it good?” he asked at the end.

“Very good, thank you.”

Why was this boy so difficult? It was impossible to show kindness like this… “Tell me, have you seen our gardens already?”

Jade shook his head. “I have not had the time yet.”

“We have some time now. Care to join me?”

***

Even as they walked through the dreamy gardens, Jade did not open up, what left Patalliro no choice but to break the silence himself, which he did by telling some strange stories, which very rightly left the young soldier wondering what exactly had his king been smoking, and where could he get some.

Finally, he could not help but burst into laughter. “Oh wow, I had no idea Your Highness had such interesting ideas. I can’t wait to tell the other tamanegis… unless you can convince me to remain silent?”

Patalliro stopped himself on time from telling the other man that the “news” were not as new as he believed them to be. “And how should I convince you?” he asked instead.

Much to his surprise, Jade gently pressed an elegant finger against Patalliro’s lips. Could it be what it seemed like…? Patalliro’s heart was beating like crazy; no one had ever wanted to kiss him, perhaps this was some kind of mistake? Yet he did not have much to lose. He reached towards the younger man, and slowly kissed his lips.

***

Jade was fully naked between the pastel colored sheets, and it was a wonderful sight; he had a small muscled body, flexible and firm. But he was confused, as he did not understand the reason that the king was still fully covered by his formal attire, arms firmly crossed over his chest, yet seemingly capable to move at the speed of light every time Jade tried to reach his belt.

“O.K I give up! Can you please tell me what is the problem?”

Patalliro did not want to tell him; what he did want to do, was to find some deep dark hole to crawl into and disappear, the sooner the better. It was awful; lying on the same bed with such a beautiful, willing boy was more than he had ever dare to dream, and yet here he was, wondering what would cause the other to run away first: his flaccid body or his lack of experience. But the young soldier, despite his narrow frame, had powerful muscles and a defiant look in his face; there was no running away from him. “I just feel that this is going too fast. We just met face to face for the first time…”

Jade’s face was red in either anger or shame, which made his green eyes even greener, much like a cat’s at night. “Well, I am sorry, I just thought that you liked me, perhaps I was mistaken…”

Jade tried to get up, but was held back by a hand firmly holding his ankle. He raised an eyebrow.

“…Please don’t go?”

All of sudden, he felt sorry for the king, who looked so helpless for whatever reason. Well, he was not obligated to have sex with Jade; after all, it was conceivable that someone he desired might not desire him back, even if that had not happened until now. Only… his highness did want him, Jade was experienced enough at reading the signs. And the “too fast” line was bullshit as well; the problem was something else… Perhaps he was simply inexperienced?

“O.K, I’ll stay. But I will be needing you to let go of my ankle. And explain to me what is the problem.”

Reluctantly, Patalliro obeyed. “The thing is…” he started, unable to face Jade’s gorgeous face, “what if you don’t like my body?” he asked quietly.

“And why wouldn’t I like your body?”

“Because I am… Well I am…”

“You are?”

“…Fat?”

Jade rolled his eyes. This was embarrassing, perhaps his highness was an idiot after all? “You know I would have noticed if you were fat, the fact that you are dressed doesn’t make me blind. Now take your shirt off.”

Jade’s expression was merciless, but it turned sweet once the king complied. He reached and kissed his chest. “My king is an idiot, it seems,” he said, and kissed the king’s belly, “but a very soft and cute one.” He caressed the Patalliro’s hair, and whispered to his ear: “my favorite kind of idiots.”

Patalliro allowed himself to smile a little, but did not make any further movement.

“And now that we have solved this,” asked Jade at the end, “would Your Highness be so kind to fuck my brains out?”

Patalliro looked down again. “I have never done that.”

Jade giggled. “I just had this feeling.”

Patalliro opened his mouth to protest, but Jade silenced him with more kisses. “I will teach you. They say I’m a good teacher.”

“Who says?”

“Shh…”

***

“Wow it was awesome, why didn’t anybody tell me sex was that good?!”

“Well... maybe… because they thought you knew that sex is supposed to be good?”

“Yes, I mean no, I mean yes, but I mean that good, why does anyone ever do anything else?”

“Because they don’t want to starve, I suppose?”

“Not starving is overrated, let’s do it again.”

“Whaaat? We’ve just done it, I need to rest a bit. People usually cuddle afterwards, you know.”

“We can do it while cuddling.”

“Wha… What?”

“I said, I can fuck you while cuddling you.”

“No you can’t, that is not physically possible.”

“That depends on your definition of cuddling.”

“Please tell me you’re not being serious.”

“It also depends on your definition of physically possible.”

“You are impossible! Physically or otherwise.”

“You like it.” His hands were already wondering.

“Maybe one more time.”

Patalliro just grinned.

***

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You look sad.”

They were resting among the grass and the flowers, in a particularly beautiful spot of the gardens; but Patalliro could feel a delicate melancholy radiating from his lover.

“I am fine.”

“We both know it is always a lie when you say that.”

Jade sighed. “I just don’t want you to laugh at me.”

Patalliro reached to caress his hair. “Have I ever laughed at you?” he asked sweetly.

Jade frowned. “…Yes…? You do it constantly?”

“Right. So what change would it make for you to tell me?”

“…I guess none. Just miss my mom, that’s all.”

“Hehehehe… Ouch that hurts!” The young king pouted and covered himself with his hands to protect himself from a sudden attack.

“You brought it upon yourself,” said Jade with a firm voice (the spoiled brat could use some education).

“Anyway, just take a few days off, go visit her.”

“I can’t do that! I haven’t earned a vacation yet.”

“And you dare to call me an idiot... You do know who I am right? You can take a vacation whenever I say.”

“No I cannot… I mean, sure, I technically can. But I’m not sleeping with you in order to get benefits.”

“I don’t even get what the fuck are you saying, you are sleeping with me for reasons other than getting benefits?”

“Of course!”

“So if you are sleeping with me anyway, why not to also get benefits?”

“Because it’s not right! And what would people say!”

“So… Here I have my answer: I am positive that you are the idiot between us.”

“There’s a difference between being an idiot and being shameless.”

“Perhaps, perhaps there is. But my dear, you have to get rid of some of this shame of yours.”

Jade remained silent. That way of thinking was out of his comfort zone, but maybe Patalliro was right?

“I believe I can be your teacher this time,” went on the king.

Great, now Jade was the one being educated. “Teacher of shamelessness? Yeah, I do believe you are capacitated for that.”

He was on the receiving side of the attack this time.

***

“Patalliro…!”

The alluded did not have time to react, as he was already wrapped by the slightly younger man’s arms. They just hugged for a moment.

“So, how was your vacation?” he asked as they walked out the train station.

“It was great! I got to see my mom and all my brothers… But I missed you so much!”

“You missed me?”

“Hehe, idiot,” Jade gave him a little kiss, “yes, I missed you. But really, thank you so much for this, you have no idea what it meant for me,” he caressed a strand of silver hair, “you have no idea how kind you are.”

***

“Mmm… Jade?” said Patalliro a couple of hours later. Jade had already been briefed by his commander on the duties that expected him now (not many, as his soldier status did not seem to be taken very seriously those days), and they had spent a couple of hours making love. Now they were lying between soft pillows, their bodies entangled.

“Yeah…?”

“You said before that you think I am kind.”

“I did, so?”

“So, what else do you think about me?”

“I think you are the sweetest, smartest, most fun…”

“Jade, do you think I am… I mean… good looking?”

Jade sighed. “Patalliro, haven’t we already been through this before?”

“Well you did say that you don’t mind me being fa… soft.”

“I do like your body, if you still haven’t noticed.”

“Yes, I understand, but what about… do you like my hair?”

“I very much do, it is shiny and beautiful, especially since you started letting it grow. You should let it grow even more.”

“And what about…”

“What about…?”

“Don’t you think I kind of have… an ugly face?”

“No? You have a cute face. Why would I think it is ugly?”

“Well, I don’t know… About my hair you said shiny and beautiful and all that…”

Jade smirked. “Your Highness Patalliro the VIII, could it be that you are fishing for compliments?”

“And what’s wrong with that, ah? Why shouldn’t I fish for compliments from my boyfriend?!”

Jade exhibited a shocked expression. “You said I’m your what?!”

“Nothing, I didn’t say anything!” Patalliro’s face was blue with panic.

“You did say something.”

“No! You misheard, I didn’t say anything,” he shook his head energetically.

“Patalliro, don’t lie to me.”

“Well…” Patalliro’s voice sounded quiet and tiny now, “I might have said… ‘boyfriend’…?”

“Really?!”

“Really…?”

“Really!” Jade excitedly covered his boyfriend’s face with kisses.

Patalliro allowed himself to revel in the displays of affections for a moment before saying:

“I should join you the next time you visit home.”

“Mm… I’m not so sure about that.”

“Uh? Why not?”

“Well… Don’t take it badly my sweetheart, but drama seems to surround you, and my mom has a week heart.”

“What a coincidence, my mom has a week heart as well.”

Jade could not help laughing. “I wonder why that might be!”

“Are you implying something?”

“Nothing at all, why do you think so?” Jade was wiping laughter tears.

“Bad boyfriend, bad!”

“But you love me, right?” asked Jade while failing to dodge a pillow, and proceeded to clean feathers form his raven black hair.

“Mmm…… Mmmmmmm……….. Well maybe I do! Let me help with the feathers, I have a method!”

“I don’t want to know… How many pillows do you have anyway?!”

“That is state secret!” and the room was filled out by feathers, some insane, loving, creepy laughter, and more feathers.

~*~ FIN ~*~


End file.
